Empty Spaces

When you hit rock bottom in a deep sea, they say that's your signal and the only way from there is the way up. But what about the time you do not wish to swim up? What if you find your solace and comfort sitting on the bed of the sea? Maybe you have not given up on your life yet and maybe it is just where you want to be, momentarily.
It is an amazing thing created by God, the heart that is. It loves, learns, cries, forgives, hurts, and loves again. The power of endurance vested with this little blood pumping organ is just unbelievable. Even when it hurts, you can be rest assured you are normal. If your heart can be happy, it is allowed to get hurt too. But what if you belong to another category of people, where the hearts stops feeling anything. It wont be hurt, it won't hate, it is just dormant. It is numb.
So happiness will not affect it, tears brush past. Minutes, Hours, Days pass, it sits there, doing its functional job.
Is there a feeling greater than pain that puts your little organ on the threshold of committing such an act?
Then again, I choose to look up, sitting at the bedrock, and seeing the sun gleaming through the water. It is fine to sit in hibernation, as long as you like, but when you see that shark heading towards you and your heart throbs in fear, hold on to the feeling; give yourself the push and head up.
Sometimes that one feeling, even if it is fear, will make you feel alive again. Try once more, you may start feeling something.

What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger!

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Is a phrase I am reminded of, when I'm caught in the middle of a crazy situation. Sometimes, no matter how happy-go-lucky sort of a person you are, life hits to you. And it is true that surviving such situation, adds another line in your palms and a 'bring it on' statement in your head.
There will be times when you feel your job, totally sucks. You are stuck in the wrong line, or your boss is a creep. Ofcourse there are people like me who have other issues like, not being able to make friends at work, inspite of people being nice and polite. Trust me creatures belonging to my category, can be really bothered with this. But hey! Isn't there always a ray of hope? When you walk out of those office doors, the smell of pollution also seems like a rescue. Well as long as you walk out of 'that' cage. Stepping inside home, everything seems back to normal. Untouched by the chaos in the professional life. The pet dogs will wag his tail as if you are the hero to his life and the pace of life at home goes back to normal.
Problem starts when you wake up next morning to head to work!

When there are problems plaguing the personal arena, you will invest all your energies into work. You head will be full of 'Work is my priority right now.' You will try as much to avoid home, social functions and calls on the pretext of 'I'm busy.' Secretly in your head you know your work was done long back, you just want to pretend to work so no one sees your miserable and vulnerable side. In such situations the anger element also starts reflecting more often.

But the worst of the situation is yet to be talked about. What about the days where crisis hits your personal and professional life. You went through a rough break up or fight with parents, tension at home or best friend's in trouble. Situations can be in numerous. Then ofcouse things at work will not always be hunky dory and you are bound to go through 'boss in a bad mood'. sales not going up, not getting a promotion. When both the segments of your life are in a soup, what do you do?

• Wish it was a bad dream and when you wake up it will all be fine.
• Look at your Jade elephant pendant and hope for its magic to rub off on you.
• Look at other happy people and wish that was your life.
• Wait for magic.

And then in the midst of it, think, when there is happy time, did you ever question that? Did you ever ask yourself why you deserve it? Then who gave you a right to say 'why me' now?

If you believe in it, it will happen. And as the saying goes, 'This too shall Pass.' So hang in there fellow 'deep in soup', you will learn to swim or drink the soup!

Distance

Life has led to many roads,
Many crossed paths,
Some ran parallel.
The one that stood still at an intersection, brought me to you.
Time froze in the magic,
Seemed like life found a destination,
Emotions clouded the scene,
I could breathe, or was it sub concious.
I longed to touch,
And though you seemed near,
The arms fell short of the distance.
Never fret dear, I told myself
Another day.
The warmth in the eyes,
Is what I needed to soak.
Except suddenly someone called tears were first to fill that place.
Go away I said, its not your day.
Sadly they don't obey,
I blink and you disappear.
Leaving me at the crossroads,
The directions help me with the confusion,
Perplexed, lost and deserted.
" Baby doll are you done with that gloomy poetry yet?"
I look up smile, and think to my self,
life brought me to the road where the destination is you.
All's sorted i guess!

The Wisdom of Pain

The lesson i learnt was like,
a million words of wisdom put together.
The emptiness of the darkness was fighting,
to win the battle over my empty heart.
The fall of the evening,
the clear sky after the rain.
The silence of the night,
could make me go deaf.
Oh! How i wish it would,
so the cluster of voices screaming in my head,
would stop at once.
Tears keep pouring down,
making a messy puddle over my eyes.
A voice in my head,
Politely called my name, and said
"The world around you is at its brightest best,
Then why are you drowned in a colourless palett?"
I looked up in the mirror,
trying to make myself visible
making way through the clouds on my eyes.
"The PAIN....i said is too much to bear,
The courage has been pushed off the cliff,
The pain, i say...the one that the most dears ones,
the people you trust in..cause."
"CLOSE ones? shes laughes,
The only close one is God"
and the voice drifts away,
As if what she said,
just gave my soul a new light.
Like the god's answer,
to all my questions.
Who is perfect?...
neither you, nor i,
People will come and go,
and just the mix of right and wrong ones,
But they will be the ones,
your greatest teachers.
They will teach and move on,
As same as a wound that causes pain,
and dissapears in a while,
but leaves a mark on your life.
These innumerous marks,
will make you think about,
the choices you made.
But they would be something you call your own,
and yes i would say,
Pain is your greatest teacher!
The lesson i learnt is like,
a thousand words of wisdom put together.
and the answer lies within you.

The smile, coffee and love....

Sitting by the window once,
Sipping the warm, relaxing cup of coffee,
Stirring in the sugar, she smiles to herself,
The twinkle in her eyes makes me wonder,
Is it someting i said, or just the coffee?
Or something which is on her mind,
for quite sometime now.
Nothing! she replys to me
with the same sweet smile
and gets lost in the coffee
There has to be something,
which makes her glow,
the blush on her cheeks,
looks like roses lent her some.
But i still have the confused look,
and then, just like that
She looks at me in the eye,
Those eyes, i never realised,
were so clear and deep,
I raised an eyebrow,
like silently saying, say something now!
And just before she says something
a beautiful crystal tear,
trickles down her eye
paving way through the blush.
And finally she says,
Have you ever been in love..
with someone you know you can't be with?
I look at her dumbstruck
as she looks away,
her lips part into a smile,
The crystal tears loses identity,
But there's got to be some way,
but you can, he can, what,but....
Nothing really made sense,
I wish i could help,
But how?
She looks outside the window,
and hums a song,
I know those lyrics, and the song by James Blunt
"But its time to face the truth,
I will never be with you"
No i don't think she is insane,
The smile on her face made me realise,
Love never keeps the condition of
being with the one you love,
Funny how she affected my life in
just a few minutes,
and just then i realised
the coffee had gone cold,
But it didn't matter anymore....
The lesson i learnt had left
warmth in my heart!!

The Unspoken silence

Can you believe it? He says,
And smiles sheepishly.
Narrating to me an incident,
I look back and smile,
Not because of the incident,
But seeing the gleam in his eye.
The eyes had school boy innocence,
I could look into them for hours
And not flutter my eyes even once.
As he drives, paying attention to the road,
I steal glances at him,
Hoping he wouldn’t catch me red handed
Whoever said loves leads to insomnia,
Must have been on sleeping pills,
Because that was the case with me!
As much I was treasuring my time with him,
I would wish the time to stand still.
Even though the sun was high up in the sky,
The sun of this moment was about to set soon.
I wish this moment had just started,
A prayer of hope against hope,
As the car stops,
The engine goes off
The beauty of the silence is broken
By rain drops on the car,
Millions of rain drops,
Chatting with each other
As the gods above,
Clash their challis, causing thunderstorm
I look at him and say
‘This is it’, and bid adieu
And just before I go out,
I look back,
For that one school boy smile,
Those innocent eyes
Just one last time,
One last hug,
One last good bye,
One last promise,
Mercy god, one last moment.
Take care, he says,
I was hoping you would, I say to myself,
You too, I say
I walk out, destiny I say,
We were never meant to be,
As my footsteps match the rhythm of the rain drops,
I re-quote the quote,
I love walking in the rain, coz no one can see me crying.

Moral Corruption

“We have, in fact, two kinds of morality side by side; one which we preach but do not practice, and another which we practice but seldom preach.”
-Bertrand Russell

In today's world if you return the balance from a check that the guest pays at a restaurant, you are considered noble. Hey i was talking about morality here! Now the latest being the suspension of Lalit Modi. Honestly, why is there such a hue & cry about it. Everyone has just one thing to say "Usne Paisa Khaya Hai!" The question i ask is very simple, who amongst them didn't make use of the plenty money falling their way. In other words, " Paisa sab khate hai" who gets caught, is the real catch.Everyone will just completely overlook the real hard work that guy must have done, and now in the public eyes, he becomes the real "Culprit". All he did wrong was, to press the wrong nerve of the wrong person at the wrong time. Till yesterday, Shilpa & Raj Kundra were owners of the Rajasthan Royals team. As soon as this issue hits the media, Shilpa Shetty suddenly changes her statement to being merely the brand ambassador of the team! My favorite guy,Tharoor, who honestly i thought was the real hope to Great Indian Political drama, steps down from his portfolio, gave me a real heartache. Extremely well read man, having the experience of holding important positions at the UN, nouvelle ideas, failed miserably at the most important task: Understanding the "cattle class" which makes up 90% of the Indian population. Only if he understood hes not dealing with the white house anymore. Just when i thought that phew! our country is finally progressing, we have the younger generations of the well known politicians of the erstwhile times. Thud! we hit the ground reality, its all an eye wash. All the hero politicians of mine like Sachin Pilot, J Scindia play the role of the nominal head much like the text book job descriptions of the President, remember president is the 'nominal head' & prime minister the 'real head'. These people were carefully put in place to show, that the younger generation is actively involved, when these people have no real powers vested in them. Like the other day, my sister goes to get a college form, completely unaware that she has to submit a draft and not cash. The guy at the counter looks at her & says pay me Rs. 50 extra for each form & i shall get a draft for you. Just when she does that & leaves, thinking he was sweet, where would i have gotten a draft from, she overhears the guy talking to another boy " Two lanes down is the bank, go get a draft made"! The scenario looks bleak, but hey we are getting there...where?....being moral and preaching it too..!